©2010 HMB Photos
Hi everyone,
The few months that I have spent here have flown by faster than any other time
of my life, perhaps because I am enjoying myself, or because I am working hard,
either way, I can’t believe it has been nearly 4 months. (And 5 months since
our wedding) Work is going good, and we are already looking for work for next
year, in an attempt to prevent the last work visa fiasco from happening again.
Although we would love to start graduate school this coming year, it looks like
starting the year after would be better financially. Our apartment has come
together nicely and it has finally began to feel like home. It is amazing how a
place can start out feeling so empty and even creepy at first and later be
salvation from the world spinning around you, because the country or details
don’t matter, in these walls is OUR home, and that is so comforting.
The most recent addition to our home is satellite tv, which we finally hooked
up after our tv which we inherited from another teacher who recently passed
away had began to collect dust. Now as Sky has gone to play pool with his friends
and colleagues, a much needed break as we have spent 24/7 around each other at
both work and home, I flip it on for the first time. CNN Arabia, as depressing
as it is in the US but slightly more politically sensitive due to the region,
shows the same stories broadcast on BBC, but both are as depressing. It’s like
having your earplugs in during a flight and then suddenly taking them out when
you are woken up by the stewardess, and it sounds so loud that you get a shock;
even the whispers of the couple sitting 3 rows in front of you sounds
unpleasant. Was the world continuing to degenerate so rapidly during the nearly
6 months since I last watched it?
MTV Arabia is next, a mix of English, Spanish and very provocative Arabic music
videos that my female students assure me come from countries such as Lebanon
and Egypt, as girls in the gulf region would never act in such a manor. I watch
for a little while though cause I am surprised to see girls singing in Arabic
but wearing evening gowns, after all, the ladies here are covered quite
literally from head to toe, except for in the university, where they are
forbidden to wear face covering of any sort. Only 6 or so channels come in
English and I am starting to feel jipped by the 21 rials that we paid to have
the Indian man hook up our satellite. I pick up my book instead…. that’s a
new phrase for me, cause generally I hate reading. I would rather spend my free
time working on images or studying spanish, or Arabic (occasionally).
The book is Girls of Riyadh, and it has me addicted. The book was written by a
24 year old Saudi woman, and is the most controversial book in the Middle East.
No it is not about war or religion, but instead about the usually private lives
of Saudi women. Saudi Arabia is the most conservative country in the Middle
East, making it the most conservative in the world. Women are not allowed to go
out without a man, wear jeans, or throw a unintentional look towards a man
which could be interpreted wrong and have life long repercussions such as
limiting her possibilities for marriage.
Very different from the free Oman where men and women go to university together
and women are sometimes spotted outdoors without a face covering. Where the
female students roam in the hallways hoping desperately that their new perfume
and Gucci handbag will have every boy in the halls looking. Where the girls sit
across from the boys in the class room, giggling at silly thing that happens in
the class, some being ultra conservative, knowing the consequences of acting
foolish, and others showing their poor upbringing by practically begging for
the boys attention, sometimes even engaging them in a joking conversation, in a
society where women are never supposed to talk to men who are not in their
family. All the while the boys love every bit of it, taking mental pictures of
the girls and making comments in Arabic about which girls are pretty and which
ones they would never marry, knowing that outside these walls they would never,
under any circumstances even be allowed to look at a lady.
This book takes a closer look in the private life of Arab women, which is so
fascinating to me after living here for a bit. I like talking to my female
students and they are so interested to hear every detail about western weddings
the oh so taboo dating. In their culture they are sometimes allowed a sit down
with the person that they are about to marry, (who was of course chosen by
their parents and not themselves) but that is as far as it goes. Accompanied by
all four parents they are given a few minutes to ask such questions as “what
kind of food can you cook” and “what did you study in school?” In Oman it is
the boy who pays the dowry, as it is in most Arab countries, however for Indian
Muslims, it is very different, as with all of India, the girls family pays, and
she pays a lot.
Like my Indian colleague Fatima, who I love to talk with. She is very
conservative and so funny, and sometimes we talk for hours, avoiding random
bits of work that we have to do. A few years after her wedding, 3 children
later, and long after the dowry was spent, her husband abandoned her to move to
New York and live the American dream with his new wife who he married in the US before his Indian divorce papers were even signed. In utter grief and to avoid
her mothers marriage pressure after her divorce, she went back to school to get
a masters, then another and finally a third. When she realized a fourth masters
would be completely excessive she moved abroad to work and avoid her mothers
introduction of random men. I found her once in the bathroom, washing up for
her evening prayers, and she wanted to talk. She had her headscarf off, and she
looks much more her real age without it as you can see her drooping chin and
the starts of grey hair. She stopped me to say that she was thinking about
arranged marriages and love marriages as they are called, and she said that she
had recently changed her mind about her 15 year old daughter, and she decided
that she would not be upset if she wanted to marry someone of her own choice.
She said that when she thinks about her marriage she can not think of even one
nice thing to say about her ex-husband, but that if it was a love marriage,
she probably would have liked something about him, even if it was some small characteristic.
Living here is very interesting and I am continuing to learn from this
experience. I am interested in their lives for some unknown reason to myself.
I am sorry if this letter was both pointless and boring, cause these are the
things that I am thinking about while I am here, so they are the things that I
am sharing, even if they are just one tiny piece of some culture that I know
nothing about. One thing that I can say is that this country is about as
opposite as it gets from Korea, and how I miss Korea sometimes. Of course
California will always be home, but Korea was the last thing familiar, and
sometimes I just want to go downtown and hang out. But as I said, Oman becomes
more like home every day, at least for now. We are busy applying for grad
schools and working on color correcting images for Lonely Planet. We are dying
to finish all of this so that we can get out and shoot some before the summer
creeps up on us.
On a more interesting note, we went to visit one of Sky’s students recently in
Bedia, the deep, deep dessert.(The pics I attached are from there) It was
amazing and SO beautiful. We spent the evening drinking Arabic coffee, eating
Halawa (a tradital Omani sweet) and ridding camels. Then we made a fire in the
dessert and they made us a delicious dinner on the open fire. It was amazing
and for the first time in my life, I saw the stars as God had meant them to be
seen, I never knew the stars looked 3D when you can see all of them. I wish I
was more descriptive on this extrodianary adventure, but it is getting late,
and I am so tired.
©2010 HMB Photos
As I said, I am sick and also I will be watching a final exam at 8:30 am, so I am going to end there and read just one more chapter of my book.. or two. I hope everyone is doing good, I always enjoy the pics, and as I now know because of the news… California is having some crazy weather. I hope no one is
effected by it. I love you guys, Love Heather
©2010 HMB Photos
©2010 HMB Photos
©2010 HMB Photos
Posted on May 27, 2010 by Yellow Street Photos
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